flatline

Kuya Roger, a colleague of mine, died five days ago due to poor health.  Not making any help is the excessive heat we are experiencing for several days now which I guessed aggravated Kuya Roger’s condition. In the hospital, the doctor tried to recuperate him but his sickness turned from bad to worse, he was grasping for air to stay alive, until his heart stopped beating.  The flat line from the heart monitor validated this.  Fortunately, his wife was there beside him during his passing.  I wasn’t able to attend his wake so I’m writing about him.  I’m writing about him because he was so nice to me.  And for him to leave so soon has shaken me and caused me grief.  I’m like this when somebody dies especially when that person has been kind to me.

And his death, or anyone’s death, would often lead me to think about the day that I would die also.  We’re all gonna die.   What we do not know is when, where, and how we will gonna die and thinking about this is frightening.  The unknown almost, always scares us, yes, all of us, no matter the status or intelligence.  And if Friedrich Nietzsche were alive right now he probably would get annoyed by me for talking about my future death for he hates topics such as this.  To him, it’s a waste of time.

He do have a point there but as a mortal, I just can’t help thinking about it because I’ve been hearing and witnessing it happen to other people.  Like my grandparents.  Like my auntie Uring.  Like my cousin Ernani.  Like my friend Alex.  Like my mother.  They’re all gone now. And looking at my remaining loved ones who continues to grow old and would die soon forces me to appreciate their physical presence.

Deaths of other people, like the recent passing of Kuya Roger, remind me always that my time on this earth is very limited.  And it would force me to reevaluate my life and ask questions like “Am I doing the right thing?” “Am I a good person?”

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