Singlehood doesn’t mean we’re desperate and hungry for love

One day I reconnected with a guy who was my classmate from college and who is now married and who was so happy to find me in Facebook after he saw my comment to a post of a common friend of ours. I was happy reconnecting with him so we had a long chat in Facebook.  Then he asked for my number. I reluctantly gave it to him.

The following night, this guy made a wrong move when he texted me:  “Hi how’s your day?”

Awkward, instantly that’s what I felt. I wasn’t happy, it felt something was wrong in there. I felt like a guy receiving a sweet greeting from another guy.

I’ll cut the long story short, what happened was I told him exactly what I felt. I was frank because I was feeling uncomfortable. Because we were communicating through text messages, he turned defensive.  He said sorry that I got offended. He said he was just making friends with me because for a long time he looked for me in Facebook. He said I’ve changed. I said seventeen years after graduating from college it could really change a person. He said I’ve changed, and for whatever reason I have, he said  I was no longer the person that he had known back in college.  I didn’t reply anymore. What a girl to do? I unfriended him from my Facebook.  I really think I should have blocked him instead but that’s too late for me to do. Then I told what happened to our common friend from college, also a guy. This common friend initially laughed. He said isn’t it obvious that the other guy had interest in me which explain those mushy posts and hashtags like #theonethatgotaway.

But for God’s sake, he’s married!!! And even if he’s single, he’s not my type.

The key message here is that:  If you’re married, to greet a single lady with “Hi how’s your day?” under the pretense of “making friends” just felt so wrong. Personally, I wasn’t flattered. I felt insulted. I lose respect to that person.  When I consulted my younger brother about this, he said once I start replying with “I’m fine, how about you?” could trigger the start of cheating in marriage on the part of the guy. And I’d rather be free and not part of that silly game. I’d rather play with my dogs, they’re more fun and sincere.

I’m single. I’m taking my time. Always a hopeless romantic, I do wonder about falling in love again for the third time.  And as a single in my 30s, I do wonder about marriage.  I’m in my 30s and single, but that doesn’t mean I am desperate and hungry for love (I think the teenagers and the twentysomethings are more susceptible to this which admittedly something that I’ve experienced when I was younger particularly before I had boyfriends.) I have dogs, friends, family, work, household duties, hobbies, and God that remind me that, indeed, life has so much to offer. That there is so much to be thankful for. Sometimes, I wish that I was born a male so that no man would stare at me or something (and I wanna poke their eyes). I get that feeling sometimes.  And there are times that I think I’d rather be single for the rest of my life. Unless a right guy for me comes along (and the feeling is mutual).


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